Avoid Diet Talk During the Holidays (and always)
The holidays are often centered on gathering with loved ones around traditions, food, and festive activities. As fun and life-giving as these things can be - it can be extremely stressful for someone struggling with food. Even if someone is not particularly struggling with food, diet culture is EVERYWHERE and affects each and every one of us. Our culture is so “health” and “looks” obsessed that is has become overly normalized to discuss and bond over body dissatisfaction, diets, restrictive and harmful behaviors, and put our “diet” and “health” beliefs on others (sometimes without even meaning to).
WHAT IS DIET TALK?
Discussing the latest diet or health trend related to restricting food, ditching a food group, creating food timing and type rules, or celebrating excessive exercise - highlighting how you wish for it to change your body
Commenting on other’s size, shape, or weight in a positive or negative way
Commenting on what is on someone’s plate or their eating habits (again - in a positive or negative way)
WHY AVOID AND NOT CONTRIBUTE TO DIET TALK?
Diet talk ultimately reinforces an oppressive culture that values weight and shape over true health and well-being
It creates the narrative that some bodies are “wrong” , that certain foods are shameful, and that there is “one” way to be acceptable, loved, and worthy
Here are some examples….
Wow! You look great - did you lose weight?
Are you sure you are going to eat all that?
I am trying this new diet and I have already lost x amount of pounds!
Oh those pants make you look so thin!
No carbs for me today, I am being good
That’s junk, but oh well - it’s the holidays right!
I wish I could be as self-controlled as you around food
SO INSTEAD, TRY ENGAGING IN COVERSATION LIKE THIS:
You look so happy! How have you been doing?
Thank you for this lovely dinner - I love coming to your house!
What are you looking forward to in the next few weeks?
I love your shirt, where did you get it?
Your great attitude is rubbing off on me!
Come up with more of your own ways to engage in conversation with people that revolve around things other than food, bodies, comparison, and diet rules.
HOW TO AVOID IT WHEN YOU ARE NOT THE ONE DISHING IT?
Once you become aware of diet talk…you start to see it everywhere. When you are trying to remove yourself from it, it can be super difficult when it feels like it somehow comes up in every conversation. I love encouraging people to start with their own language and changing language because this can ideally help shift the focus in culture. When it comes to your own language, try to focus on complimenting others on things apart from their looks, not commenting on others plates, talking about food in way that highlights it’s qualities instead of assigning “good” or “bad” value, and when you feel the urge to talk about your body poorly - seek to talk about something else or change the subject.
Tiffany Roe is a mental health therapist/diet culture warrior and she wrote a blog post on how to avoid diet talk with people and I love using this method with my clients:
Set a boundary - that doesn’t work for me and I would rather not discuss our bodies or diets.
Change the subject - good for you, by the way have you see that new show?
Be vulnerable and real - I am really sick of our culture’s hyper-focus on food and “health” - I just want to feel good and free in my body and with my food choices
Educate - honestly, diets can be really harmful and don’t lead to better health. They usually result in more cravings, body dissatisfaction, and weight re-gain. I am working on learning to listen to my hunger and fullness cues and letting all foods fit.
Act empowered - I threw out my scale. It wasn’t telling me anything helpful.
Walk away - See ya!
More ways to respond….
I love you the way you are
You are way more than your body or what you eat - do you want to talk about that?
You don’t have to diet…have you heard of intuitive eating?
I have felt that same way but I am working on a new approach
I follow some awesome people on Instagram that talk about this stuff all the time! Can I show you?
There are so many ways you can respond that are authentic to you. Come up with your own and feel encouraged that you don’t have to do this alone. The holidays can be a triggering time for so many. Whether you are struggling or not, I want to challenge you to be someone that chooses to see and treat people as more than bodies (including yourself). Be a culture changer.
If you are wanting more support on your journey with food and your body, reach out today to get on the 2022 waitlist.
You are worth it!